Smashing Journal

I WROTE THIS SHORT PIECE AT THE END OF 2007. IT WAS FOR A MURAL TO PROMOTE OUR NEW LITERARY MAGAZINE.

of mirrors and public toilets

There is something wrong with mirrors. There is, in particular, one wrong thing about mirrors, and that is this: that cats cannot see them. I remember in my youth I had a beta fish. We were told they grow lonely, but that they are also aggressive and will fight or even kill any other fish that goes near it. The only solution that the minds of our time had been able to concoct was to place a mirror in front of the fish from time to time so that it could fight itself. How many times in a day do you see a mirror?

I had wanted to speak about God, but I took the liberty to assume that mirrors are seen more frequently. I will now assume that all of you have used a public bathroom at least once in your life.

A cool breeze is a welcomed gift on a hot summer day. It is not as easily enjoyed, however, when I'm on a public toilet. Where is this breeze coming from? In a particularly cold bathroom, a cool breeze will paralyze my bowels. Those not familiar with this dilemma may laugh now. Go ahead: laugh. But let me ask you this. If I can see people outside from inside the toilet stall, can they also see me?

the literary magazine: first mural

2008. I was Editor-in-chief for the first ever literary magazine on campus. I was extremely nervous, but had a lot of ideas. One of them was to create awareness of the new magazine by creating a monthly "mural" that would be posted in strategic locations throughout campus. The mural would feature writing from our students. My hope was that it would attract students to our infant blog, which contained submission guidelines for the magazine as well as for the mural itself.

Unfortunately, it was determined that posting paper murals throughout campus was a "fire hazard" so the project was never carried out. However, before presenting the idea to my staff, I was able to create a sample mural. Below is the fourth version, which I recently found while organizing my computer files. The layout is based on really really old newspapers and notices. As you can see, I wrote a couple of words to sell the idea. This document is unique in that it has all my pseudonyms in one page. Also, the magazine did not have a name at the time. Looking at the date on it, I can't believe we were able to create a magazine in so little time. Those were the good days.

Here are the chords for "Every Single Night" from the album The Idler Wheel...(2012). Nothing fancy, just major and minor chords. Of course, her music's a lot more complicated, but this sounds just fine.

Every Single Night

C F
C F
C F C F
Every single night I endure the flight
C G
Of little wings of white-flamed
C
Butterflies in my brain These ideas of mine
F D#
Percolate the mind Trickle down the spine
D
Swarm the belly, swelling to a blaze
G D#
That's when the pain comes in
G G#
Like a second skeleton
C G
Trying to fit beneath the skin
C G
I can't fit the feelings in
Am E D
Every single night's alright with my brain
C F
What'd I say to her What'd I say it to her
C G
What does she think of me That i'm not what I ought to be
C
That i'm what I try not to be
F D#
It's got to be somebody else's fault
D
I can't get caught
G D#
If what I am is what I am, cause I does what I does
G G#
Then brother, get back, cause my breast's gonna bust open
C G
The rib is the shell and the heart is the yolk and
C G
I just made a meal for us both to choke on
Am E D
Every single night's a fight with my brain
F G A# A
I....just want to feel everything (x3)

C F
So i'm gonna try to be still now
C G
Gonna renounce the mill a little while and
C F
If we had a double-king-sized bed
D# D
We could move in it and i'd soon forget
G D#
That what I am is what I am cause I does what I does
G G#
And maybe i'd relax, let my breast shot bust open
C G
My heart's made of parts of all that surround me
C G
And that's why the devil just can't get around me
Am E Am D
Every single night's alright, every single night's a fight
Am E D
And every single fight's alright with my brain

F G A# A
I..... just want to feel everything (x3)

Here are the correct chords for "Radio" by Lana Del Rey, from the album Born To Die (2012), if you'd like to play it on guitar.

Radio

Capo 2

C G

Not even they can stop me now

Dm C

Boy, I'll be flying overhead

C G

Their heavy words can't bring me down

Boy I've been raised from the dead

Dm Em

No one even knows how hard life was

I don't even think about it now because

Am G

I've finally found you

(Oh, sing it to me)

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon

Like a f--king dream I'm living in

G Dm

Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio

(How do you like me now?)

Lick me up and take me like a vitamin

'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom oh yeah

G Dm

Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio

(How do you like me now?)

C G

American dreams came true somehow

Dm C

I swore I'd chase until I was dead

C G

I heard the streets were paved with gold

That's what my father said

Dm Em

No one even knows what life was like

Now I'm in LA and it's paradise

Dm G

I've finally found you

Oh, sing it to me

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon

Like a f--king dream I'm living in

G Dm

Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio

(How do you like me now?)

Lick me up and take me like a vitamin

'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom oh yeah

G Dm

Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio

(How do you like me now?)

Because I could not find the chords through Google, here are the chords for Little Deschutes from the album July Flame by Laura Veirs.

Results for "little deschutes chords laura viers" October 25, 2012.

Little Deschutes

capo on 5 (click here for chords without capo)

Em G

It sure is hard to dance across

The room when you've got

One foot on the floor

Em G Bm D

And one foot outside the door

C Am Em

I want nothing more

C Am Em

Than to dance with you

Em G

The peace I've known, floating along

Bm D

The deep green river with you and a song

Em G

Is something like the peace I hope

Bm D

To make with you my whole life long

C Am Em

I want nothing more

C Am Em

Than to float with you

G Bm Em D

Paddling through the hail storm

G Bm Em D

Clothes ravaged, the leaves all torn

Am Em

A part of me was born

[solo]

Em G Bm D

C Am Em

Em G

Why care about yesterday's haze

Bm D

When the stars above are all ablaze

Em G

Why care about the coming dawn

Bm D

When the moon pours now searchlight strong

C Am Em

I want nothing more

C Am Em

Than to dance with you

C Am Em

I want nothing more

C Am Em

Than to float with you

I've been a fan of hers since Year of Meteors, so when I googled "little deschutes chords laura veirs" and got no results, I figured it out myself. I'll put up the tab for the lead guitar as soon as I get time to do so. Enjoy!

The BYU Bookstore had a variety of posters on sale this week: Star Wars, The Avengers, TV shows, corny photos of people kissing under the Eiffel Tower. Among all these posters: legit art from Van Gogh and Monet. To my surprise, the Van Gogh posters were only $2.99, whereas the Avengers posters were $9.99. Not that there's anything wrong with The Avengers...but, c'mon! Most legit art was actually on sale for $2.99, including Klimt, Van Gogh, and Monet. So now I've got a 24 x 36 inch copy of Van Gogh's Starry Night greeting me when I come home.

The real conundrum was whether or not I should get the Chat Noir poster, which was $6.99. You have to understand that by this point I had already bought an Abbey Road poster, a copy of Edvard Munch's The Scream, and two Van Gogh's, thus surpassing my "miscellaneous" budget for the week. Also, looking at the poster I knew it was either a clumsy reproduction or a very early version of the original advertisement by Theophile Steinlen, so I wasn't particularly inclined to buy it. But the colors, man! I remembered going to Kyla's apartment and seeing her red and yellow couch pillows and thinking: I need these colors! So I bought it.

Using clear photo tape, I put my two Van Gogh's and the Chat Noir poster up on my white living room walls, and they look awesome! My apartment looks sooo spiffy. Now, spiffy is a word used somewhat often but seldom understood. In fact, I used it to compliment (not complement) Emily the other day...and I wasn't quite sure I was using it the right way.

So my apartment now looks smart in appearance. In other words, it looks really stylish.

And no, Little Lamb, I don't think Van Gogh is "crap art." I was just kidding when I said it.

One of my most awesome fears is inscribed in the old Latin proverb tempus fugit: time flees. The older I get, the more I can see the fleeting nature of time. I'm always running out of it, and for no good reason. Darn you Netflix, you beautiful child!

Still, there are moments when time seems to move incredibly slow, such as when long after hitting the snooze button on my morning alarm, I awaken to discover that only minutes have passed, when to me it seemed like half an hour. I wish this would happen more often.

The Hardy Jacket

While catching up on Sonic Youth online, I discovered that Kim Gordon (bass/vocals) launched a new fashion line called Mirror/Dash, designed exclusively for Urban Outfitters. I went to the website (see below) and realized that the line currently features a single item: the Hardy Jacket. Of course, what caught my eye more than the jacket itself, was the girl in the jacket.

The Girl in the Jacket

Because I assume I am not the only one asking, who's the girl in the jacket?, I decided to do some research and post my answer here.

After hours of research, I found an article on Teen Vogue that reveals the model's identity.

The girl in the jacket is: Kim's niece, Eleanor Erdman!

Let me know if I've answered your question.

I was reading an article or a book on job interviews. Apparently, there's a company out there that asks goofy questions, one of them being: what's your theme song?

Lately, the song Under The Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers has popped into my mind whenever I'm walking.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge by RhinoRecords

What's your theme song?

Mitch asks: Which would you rather fight, 50 duck-size horses, or one horse-size duck?

My answer: One horse-size duck.

Of course, given the choice, I would rather fight a horse-swan. Majestic creature!

of mirrors and public toilets